Haley's Fantasy Football: Throwing more picks your way than Peyton Manning!

Haley’s Fantasy Football: Throwing more picks your way than Peyton Manning!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! As we enter the holiday season, we have hit the halfway point in the school year and, more importantly, the fantasy football playoffs, where It is do or die each week to get the prize. Whether your prize is Christmas vacation, or a fantasy football championship, it has been a long road. Yet, here we are. We have all had to overcome injuries, suspensions, detentions, bad trades, and bad grades throughout the fall fantasy season, so here’s my rendition of a classic Christmas story:

‘Twas the Night Before Playoffs...

‘Twas the night before playoffs and all through the web,

We checked all our lineups just before bed,

My flex player was set, chosen with care,

In hopes a fantasy championship soon would be there.

Finally, I log out and shut off my phone,

While I envision players dancing in the endzone.

Many of my best players are hurt.

But I expect a big game from Tyler Eifert. 

I am nervous about playing against Shady,

But it will be okay if you start Brady!

A big game from Odell would be extremely cruel.

I will be out of playoffs and forced to just play FanDuel.

Another week, another fantasy stud falls,

This time, a broken ankle for Thomas Rawls.

Now, I must suffer my biggest fear.

Mark Ingram hurt his shoulder and is out for the year.

Soon, the playing field will be covered with snow.

And the Eagles will finally bench Demarco.

The winner will be the team that stays healthy.

As long as they don’t start Travis Kelce.

Now Palmer, Now Julio, Now Olsen and Teddy!

On AP, On Evans, On Carr and on Eddie!

To the top of the league, we will win it all!

I will take home the money I played for this fall. 

This Christmas season will be so merry,

with a couple touchdowns from Arizona’s Larry.

I don’t need a new toy or a new shirt from Hurley.

The best gift for me is a poor game from Todd Gurley.

Big Ben got my team here by the skin of his teeth,

And he should be even better with the return of Heath.

The Chiefs defense will surely rack up a big score,

Thanks to a great matchup against Baltimore.

Let the boys play and make the right calls, ref.

Cam Newton is balling like he is Golden State’s Steph.

The Pats will continue to embarrass the NFL on every play

Like Will Smith in “Concussion” on Christmas Day.

I have made some bad trades, just like Chip Kelly,

But my hopes are still big, just like Santa’s belly.

It has been a great year, and each team has put up a fight.

Best of luck to all, and to all a good night!

Stocking Stuffer (Add of The Week): Tim Hightower RB NO
This offseason, the Saints decided to take a more balanced offensive approach on the back of workhorse Mark Ingram. Ingram followed through with a top 5 fantasy back regular season. As many owners know, Ingram has been placed on the season ending injured reserve with a shoulder injury. Most people immediately scoured the waiver wire for satellite back CJ Spiller. To the surprise of many, veteran Tim Hightower was given the majority of the carries and performed exceptionally (85 yards, TD). He is not a starter over proven studs such as Doug Martin or Chris Ivory, but he is a viable option at the flex position or a team suffering from the loss of Ingram or Seattle’s Thomas Rawls.

Coal (Drop of The Week): Marvin Jones WR CIN
Jones was a beneficiary of Andy Dalton’s excellence this season. However, he has been battling Mohamed Sanu for snaps opposite All-Pro AJ Green. However, the Red Rifle will have to leave the safety on for the remainder of this season as he will miss the remainder of the season with a broken thumb. Jones has eclipsed ten fantasy points just once since their bye in week 7. He is unreliable and his value as a flex option is diminished with backup AJ McCarron slinging passes. On the other hand, McCarron’s fiance Katherine Webb is a keeper. Jones is not.

The Grinch (Sit of The Week): Demarco Murray RB PHI vs ARI

It gives me great pleasure to write this blurb as I remember Murray single handedly knocking my team out of the playoffs last season. How far we have come since then! The reigning rushing leader has not lived up to his salary in Philly or his first round pedigree in fantasy drafts. Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles (and arguably Kenjon Barner) have been far more productive in Chip Kelly’s offense. Demarco has seen fewer carries each week and may even be a healthy scratch for a poor Eagles team. The matchup against Arizona’s loaded defense is also extremely unfavorable. Kelly is known to recruit players he likes, and if history is any indication, Demarco may be on his way out of town after complaining to owner Jeffrey Lurie about his usage (see: Desean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, Lesean McCoy, etc.).

Ebenezer Scrooge (Sit of The Week): Travis Kelce TE KC vs BAL

Kelce has been an extreme disappoint in fantasy leagues this season. Drafted as a top 3 tight end behind only Gronk and Greg Olsen, he now ranks seventh at a position with very little depth. Kelce has found the endzone just once since his bye in week 9. In the other four games, he has failed to reach five points. Bahumbug! Baltimore has been pitiful against receivers this season, but their athletic linebackers have been tough on tight ends. If you have another option, keep Kelce on the bench.

Buddy the Elf (Start of the Week): Larry FItzgerald WR ARI

Fitzgerald has enjoyed his best season in years with a healthy Carson Palmer. Byron Maxwell and the Philadelphia secondary have not. Fitzgerald has slowed down in the past four weeks, averaging six points per game. However, I expect him to bounce back this week. Fitzgerald has continued to excel on the field, without lighting up the stat sheets in the past couple of weeks (check out his block to spring fellow receiver Michael Floyd for a long touchdown). I think he will return to the endzone, and fantasy excellence this week. The best way to spread playoff cheer is starting Larry, as all will fear.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Start of the Week): Tom Brady QB NE vs TEN

Tom Brady, the sixth round draft pick, had some very high hopes. And if you ever saw him, you would even say he is the GOAT. All of the other players, used to laugh about DeflateGate. But they never wanna see Brady, in any of their games. In this crucial playoff week, I have come to say, since his matchup looks so bright, don’t you bench Brady tonight. Now that Brady has Gronk, and he’s playing Tennessee, Tom the GOAT Brady, you will win my fantasy league.

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